the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
