Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hate your face
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
