but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize