I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
