dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize