Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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