I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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