Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
