question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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