guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
