Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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