I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
