reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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