If that was your dad, he is hot
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
