I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
