Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
