come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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