The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
