I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
