I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
