So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
