Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
