I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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