yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
