if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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