I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
