Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
