I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
