I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
