I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
