flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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