I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
