now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
