And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
