I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
