I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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