I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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