therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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