Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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