I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
