she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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