covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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