i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
