If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
