you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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