he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drake has all the answers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
