I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
