new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
