Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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