What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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