I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
