I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize