Got a toothbrush?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
