I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
