hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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